first post.

So.. i have to get used to this thing. it's not facebook-it's my actual thought and feelings. no one is provoking them. no image, note, forward- nothing. Just me. and my brain. that could be scary. i hope not though. i don't plan on sharing this thing with many people. i just kinda feel like this could be my outlet...a way to get things out there. maybe this could be healthy..who knows. BUT i do know this is the internet so i plan on keeping personal things to myself and things that NO ONE needs to find out. yeah, those things will stay in my brain.

on another note. bumper stickers. are. my. freaking. life. i feel like that's all i do. and then sometimes, someone will say something, and i think (to myself of course), "I wonder if they have a bumper sticker about that?" Sad thing is, they probably do. And bumper sticker is just a stupid facebook app. sad how things like that affect your life so greatly that you think about it multiple times a day. ridiculous. i know. i can be at times.

and i hate when i have feelings that i can't express in the way i want to. like trying to explain a feeling to a friend of mine the other night, i felt stupid. the words that were coming out of my mouth were just repetitive and dumb-sounding. i couldn't say what i wanted to come out. idk. i guess it's a way that the heart is trying to communicate with the brain and the brain can't fathom the feelings of the heart. see-that didn't make sense either. okay, i'll stop now.

so. this divorce stuff-it sucks. i wish it were easier. or that it didn't even have to happen. and sometimes, i wish i could make it a facebook note so that all high school kids could read it. and even if they didn't believe it or chose to listen to it, it would be burned in their brains. i mean if they knew that divorces cost you lots of money-sometimes money that you DON'T want to spend on what seems like someone else's mistakes and ignorance.. or that the person that you're married to may not leave you alone, accuse you of stupid crap, drive you insane to the point of medications, etc.... or that the night before you know your child is going to the other parent's house, you don't want to put them down bc you know you won't get to tuck them into bed again for several days.. or that you have to sacrifice alot of things for your own happiness. yeah..it sucks.. i just wish people would know BEFORE they jump into something.

another thing, marriage should not be forced. I think that if two people aren't ready to get married, then they shouldn't. my situation for example. my parents told me i had to. now look at me. i'm up crap creek. yeah, i said it.

okay, i'm rambling. but i guess that's what this thing is for. so i guess this is a decent first post. we'll see how long this thing lasts..